The Inner Work

This episode of the Worth Work podcast Desmond and Jesse investigate the importance of inner work for creating racial justice in ourselves and our school communities. Desmond shares the background about where the name of this podcast; Worth Work- came from. To summarize briefly- the process of liberating ourselves from ubiquitousness of shame begins by claiming our inherent worth that comes from simply being alive. Dominant systems at play want us to continue operating as though our worth comes from what we produce. Let's do the inner work my friends- the work to create our purpose outside the status quo. A purpose that liberates and creates a more humane and just world for us and our grandkids grandkids. This isn't quick fix gratification. This is the inner work. The worth work.

We encourage you to tune in at the 35:19 mark of the episode where Desmond and Jesse explore a simple practice to track you're experience of a class period. A 2 BARS guided mediation is at the 12:29 mark. And of course we end every episode with a summarizing freestyle rap- 50:45 ENJOY!

01:36- Desmond- The question we were asking our interviewees: 'What social and emotional barriers exist to keep us from doing equity work?'

02:32- Jesse- "The way I think about inner work is developing practices and ideally developing a way of being, a way of developing your character, where you build this well within. So when the inevitable chaos of life comes, or the unexpected thing happens in the classroom. That you can draw upon this well that you've built up through whatever practices work for you to develop love, live from your genius and respond to truth, to direct your energy in a way that doesn't harm and brings a sense of creativity."

03:20- Desmond- "When I think of inner work, its the work that done within yourself and I think of practices you use to cultivate your inner being. For me I've been a big reflection person. Writing, journaling, all those things to capture a little bit of whats going on in my experience- in my head- and to look at it and determine- okay, thats helpful, thats not helpful as it relates to connections in the class room."

06:30- Desmond- "How do we create the space for teachers to be able to do the inner work that is necessary for them to maintain themselves in the job? During the job hours.."

08:33- Desmond- "In the Zeitgeist of this time, there is these words; mental health, self care... and I don't know if people connect that this inner work is also needed for racial equity..."

08:48- colleague clip- Lambert- "My expectation is that people would turn internally, its easier to blame someone or get intellectual or say the framework isn't right, instead of turning inside and saying I got to own some of this stuff. For example..." (shares a story)

09:39- Jesse- "The connection for me going from the fu fu feel good to the real heart of it is getting into the shadow work of it. Specially taking ownership of being a white man in this country and this context, is being a part of a demographic that has caused an immense amount of harm.... to take real ownership brought me into the heart of the work, because of the potential for shame, the potential to be the bad guy, the potential to be misunderstood and wanting to belong and do the right thing."

10:32- Jesse- "If we want to go there we have to do the shadow work. We can't bypass it. I think by passing is another product of white culture, like 'I just want to get to where we're all equal.'... yes lets get to where it's equal, but we have to heal this wound first. And that racial wound is deep. As a white man I have my work to do to heal that. It's a process."

11:00 Desmond- "Why would anyone want to do this work?" I understand why i do it and want to do it. Part of what this podcast is about is providing an actual lived experience of why we do this work.... It's a dynamic experience... this culture wants us to get to the promise land of everything being 'good'.

12:29 Two B.A.R.S. guided meditation to breathe, align, relax and shine.

14:33- Colleague clip-Mercedes- "Equity work is a necessity for my survival right. And in an institution that was not only harmful to me, but was harmful to my own children. And I'm that person to wiggle the mouth of the machine to do something. Thats actually counter of what it's supposed to do. Its designed to create the status quo..."

15:21 Jesse - "Living in a more liberal city thats white, has those challenges like- I've read the latest book, I've listened to the latest podcasts (which is this one), I know the latest terms- so I'm perceived as the woke white person or whatever. But the heart of this, and this is coming at it from an artists perspective, is I want to get in touch with the depths of my pain, because thats where the depth of life is. I want to get in touch with the depths of my wound cause thats where my greatest healing is. I want to create from the depths of the human experience - I want to educate from there.... at least the highest part of me does, often I forget that."

16:22- Jesse asking Desmond- "You birthed the idea of worth work, How do you see inner work and worth work connected? Are they the same thing? Is inner work a part of worth work?

16:28- Desmond- "I was looking up other words that were synonyms of equity and I saw the word worth... and from living in the system and going to PDs you could just hear, shame, shame, shame... everybody operating from some degree of protecting themselves from shame. And shame has you feeling like you are not worthy. When I think of worth work, I think of a work that reclaims self worth. That self worth is inherent in every human being, cause you're alive and you're here."

17:24- Desmond- "There is a vested interest in the zeitgeist of our culture for the last 400 or so years to convince you that your worth is outside of yourself. From the root of colonialism you can get free labor, you can own land-ownership, and you can also classify things. If people are convinced that their only worth comes from what they can contribute to a society through the means of labor, then those in positions of power are being served by that."

18:53 Desmond- "If we can reclaim our worth, rediscover our inherent worth, then it becomes easier to connect with another human being, outside of the ways we identify, which have embedded moralistic hierarchies. Said another way white at the top and Black on the bottom. and various shades in between. Thats the racial identity piece and you can add class and wealth and gender and sexuality and all these things that our system has created hierarchies for."

19:44- Desmond- "I can stop chasing that ideal (of what the system says I should be based on the hierarchies) and start doing the inner work to discover- 'What is my ideal?'... I get to identify it for myself and not have the society do it for me.

20:01- Jesse - How do we reclaim our worth? What are those practices?

20:09- Desmond- A lot of it for me is the capturing of what is going on inside my mind and body, through writing, journaling, artistic practices, creativity, conversation, processing, therapy. To pause a bit of the dynamic that is my internal lived experience, the constant flow of thoughts, ideas, sensations, all that. Pause it, take a little sample of it and then ask myself essentially 'Is this effective for where I want to go. For the purpose that I've created for myself.' And part of the inner work is creating that purpose for yourself."

20:50 Desmond explores how society gives us a certain purpose- be productive, be skinny, earn this much $, act like this, be a consumer of goods and ideas, for the promise of happiness based on events. The inner work is cultivating joy... from a standpoint of serving others for the enjoyment not because there is an obligation.

21:55- Colleague clip- Mercedes- "People who don't know me usually only the serious side, its weird but to appreciate humor and be able to bust out a laugh I gotta trust you and know you...With my friends and close colleagues we're popping and we'll crack up. It just fills my heart up. And I see that joy as a part of the resistance. I see that joy as a connection to my ancestors. Cause how else did they survive the things that they did. And now I feel like my opportunity is not just to survive but to thrive."

23:28 Jesse- "Doing that inner work illuminates the steps of the outer work- the path."

23:45 Desmond- Tuning fork metaphor. "One prong is within you and the other one prong is outside you. So if you find something in tune you resonating on the same frequencies.

23:58 Desmond- said in another practical way its the being able to notice within yourself when something resonates outside of yourself... If there was a standard for inner work- that would be it. Its not necessarily a comfortable feeling, there could be something resonating in you that is more along the lines of anger, sadness, envy....whatever the emotional experience is, that you catch yourself in...."

25:40 Jesse "The things that piss us off the most could be our biggest opportunities to grow."

26:15- Colleague clip, Mercedes- "The kind of check you have to have on your mind and spirit to be aware and ever seeking. Like the situation about the young man I brought up comes up. You got to be able to listen to that and lean into that."

26:30 Desmond refers to non-violent communication as a part of his inner work process.

26:55- Desmond- "The learning is how do you maintain the ability to observe what it is you feel without judgement. And Again- moralistic judgement- this is a bad feeling, this is a good feeling.... It could be oh this feeling here usually indicates I'm not align with my values or this feeling indicates I'm aligned with whats important to me... You have to know and discover what those things are and how you know and discover what those things are is you learn how to feel. Feelings give you that information..."

28:08 Desmond- "The body is in the flow of the continuously lived experience. And there is wisdom.....information. There is a lot of information within the body that if you are beginning to open yourself up to feel you can use that information as you continue to move towards what truly has value for you."

29:02- Desmond- "Thats the work for them (students) to figure out why are they are here and creating that sense of purpose."

29:30- Desmond "If your not defining yourself and defining what is important to you, then society is doing it for you... It's there, did you choose for it to be there."

29:51- Jesse was hearing two things come up about inner work: -1) Find your purpose, your genius, your inner gifts inherently there in your DNA. 2)To take time to feel. That feeling has that information. That wisdom.

32:20 Desmond- "There is no system in the world that will protect you from the chaos of life. What I mean by chaos is the unpredictability of life.... there is some level of unpredictability that we're all dealing with."

33:50 Desmond- "Part of what the inner work is about is being able to take in more information that is within us and understanding that enough to be able to teach whoever is in front of us. To make connections with whoever is in front of us and be the best guides in learning that we can be.

34:15 Desmond- "because the system was designed against children of color. Now the understanding that the task and part of the inner work is being actively for children of color."

34:37 Desmond "the false dichotomy of me being for something is not me being against the other thing."

34:55 Jesse quotes Darshanpreet from episode 1 The Art Work. "The school system does very successfully what is was meant to do: educate white boys."

35:08 Jesse "As educators we want to bring in the dynamic equilibrium, the balance, where everyone gets the resources to awaken their genius."

35:19-38:40 Practice for teachers: Slow down and pay attention to yourself during a class. What did I feel over the course of a class? What had an energetic charge? Whatever has the most charge- thats my teacher in the classroom. What is the narrative attached to that charge? What is the information your body is giving you? Through journaling, reflecting on it some understanding may arise. Then use that insight.

Start with 3 words that summed up the class today and do that consistently for a few weeks. Then add a bit more reflection over a time. The intention is about capturing your experience and know your capturing information about what your perceiving.

38:44 Jesse "One thing that grounds me is knowing that a students behavior is their best way to get a need met in the moment."

39:09- How is inner work sustained? Practices: Individual: writing, reflecting in depth, meditation, prayer, yoga, therapy, to quote Resmaa Menakem- get your reps in, and build your capacity, having routines, meal planning.

Community practices: group reflection/journaling, group meditation.

41:25 Colleague clip Mercedes- "I talk to my people, I have the huddle whenever we can do it. Because its not just about me talking about the things that have happened in a week or in a month but being able to listen. Something about being in that space and knowing its not just you or me fighting against this system and these oppressive forces. But we are holding down our individual spots and we are a collective. So I find power in that."

42:00 Desmond shares about the shift of having inner work being built into the work day for educators. "You don't sustain inner work by yourself."

42:00- Desmond explores the layers and connections of self actualization, self care, creating purpose and healing together.

47:16- What makes us want to do inner work? The growth that comes with it. Human connections that comes with inner work. Helps us get through difficult things. Improved ability to connect. A relationship with fear where your not controlled by fear or the narratives interwoven

50:45 Key Words and Phrases Freestyle edition: self care, feel, the truth hurts, information, vulnerability, dynamic, shame, triggers, shame, creativity and zeitgeist.